Adventures In SlasherSitting
by ToS Lover
Summary: When an unsuspecting girl is forced to babysit four of the world's most famous slashers, what hijinks will ensue? And more importantly, will she get out alive? NOTE: On hiatus until further notice.
1. Ch 1: Babysitting?

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything I shouldn't, except my characters and this story.

Ch. 1: Babysitting?

Some people say there is only heaven and hell. Others insist that there are realms between them, neither one nor the other. And even then, there are supposed endless loops of realm and rift and dimension spanning time and space. But when Marcel Evans fell asleep on a May night and woke up somewhere else entirely, she had no idea about any of this at all.

* * *

Marcel woke up, alone and confused. This wasn't her room. There was no computer, no bed, no senior keg party outside her window; hell, there were no windows, and no light. She dusted herself off of the… (Was it a floor?) and stumbled in the dark for a minute or two. Bumping into a supposed table, she groped its surface blindly for something, anything. Her hand clutched something that felt like a flashlight. Marcel turned it on in haste; and in return it shone upon the face of Freddy Kruger.

"AHHHHHH!" Marcel screamed wildly and scrambled backwards, bumping into something. She swung around, this time meeting the masked face of Jason Voorhees. Marcel was just about to scream again when a voice spoke.

"Oi! What's with all the screaming? Who forgot to turn on the damn lights?"

Lights finally flickered on overhead and Marcel blinked for a few minutes, adjusting. She turned, taking in what seemed to be a well furnished apartment. A person in a black hooded robe stood by the door, oddly familiar.

"Death?" asked Marcel. "Oh my god! Am I dead?! What happened?! I can't be dead! This has got to be a bad dream!"

"Marcel…" The girl was rambling on. "Marcel…" Death tried not to grit his teeth.

"Oh my god….whywhywhywhy…."

"Marcel, shut up!"

"Eeep…" Marcel was quiet.

Death cleared his throat. "Now that your little breakdown is over with, let me explain a few things. No, you are not dead. Yes, this _is _happening. And no, you don't have a choice, so shut up and sit down."

Marcel sat down quickly on a couch.

"And you Mr. Voorhees, you need to listen as well. Could you please stop choking Mr. Kruger before he loses consciousness and I have to repeat myself?"

Marcel turned around to find Jason holding Freddy high above the floor in a one-handed grip. His thumb sat under Freddy's chin, as if his head was nothing more than a bottle cap. Freddy cursed angrily, glaring at him all the while. Jason released his grip on Freddy, letting him fall to the ground.

"Grumble…stupid hockey puck…absolute retard…" Freddy dusted himself off. Noticing Marcel, he leered and sauntered over. "Ahh…I must be in heaven. You're not that cute, but I'll take what I can get…" Death cleared his throat again.

"Mr. Kruger, do you mind?"

Freddy snorted. "Yes, I mind. I don't know who you are buddy, but I suggest you go find your own bitch. This one's mine."

Death sighed and pointed a skeletal finger at Freddy. Stitches formed on his mouth, keeping him quiet. Death turned his attention back to Marcel.

"Now as I was saying, I need your help. You see, the slashers of our decade are losing notoriety. The people are forsaking them for mutated freaks and killers with a more "human" element. It sucks, I know. But to ease this transition, I've enlisted your help. You are to make sure Mr. Voorhees and Mr. Kruger, along with two others, behave properly and learn to get along with…you know…peace, honor, respect? Hell, I'll even take respective tolerance as a start."

Marcel said nothing. How was she supposed to baby-sit four serial killers who were probably going to murder her as soon as he left? Death continued on. "Now as soon as you're done, I'll send you home. Same time, date, place, all that. No worries."

"B-But…" Marcel stammered.

Death snapped his fingers suddenly. "Oh that's right! I almost forgot the rules. Can't leave without telling you those. Rule 1: No one dies here…"

Jason gave a snort.

"Yes, Mr. Voorhees, I do know that doesn't apply to you or your cohorts, but as I like to say, safety first! Rule 2: Mr. Kruger will lose the majority of his powers; also as a precaution…"

"Mmmphgruu!" Freddy screamed.

"Quit whining, Mr. Kruger. It's for your own good. Rule 3: This house extends as far as its backyard. Anyone caught trying to go further will be dealt with…somehow. If you need anything…" Death turned to Marcel. "Call." He handed her a cellphone and made his way to the door. "Have fun, kiddies!"

And as the door slowly shut, Marcel only wondered, "What the hell am I going to do?"

* * *

**AN: Death is a very grumpy individual. What **_**will **_**Marcel do? And who are the two other slashers? R&R to find out!**


	2. Ch 2: Halloween In May

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything that'll get me sued.**

* * *

Ch. 2: Halloween in May

Marcel rubbed her temples. She could do this. She could _do _this. It would be like babysitting children. Yes. That was it. Four, large, immortal children with psychopathic tendencies. She gulped. She hoped that she could do this. A crash could be heard from another room. Freddy and Jason had started to fight again. Though the fight was quiet due to the stitches on Freddy's mouth, she couldn't help but feel bad for the furniture. Marcel balled her hands into fists and stood up. It was time to do her job.

When Marcel found Freddy and Jason, the fight had made its way into the kitchen. Jason was busy slamming Freddy's skull between the fridge and its door. Marcel winced. That had to hurt. Marcel took a deep breath.

"You two are stopping this right now! Look at the mess you've made! Jason, put Freddy down now and apologize!" Jason turned around. Marcel flinched. She hoped that worked.

Jason's POV

_Who does this little girl think she's talking to? I'm a grown man! I do what I want! But…Mom's voice is in my head…telling me to listen to the counselors while she's at work…they were supposed to watch me…look at what a good job they did! But her voice is louder now…be polite…no fighting…apologize when you hurt someone…blah, blah, blah…ugh. If it gets these voices to go away, I'll do anything._

Marcel blinked. Jason still wasn't moving.

Freddy's POV

_Is the concept too much for his retard brain? Put me down already! Though I've got to admit, the tart pulled a ballsy move there, yelling at him. Shame he's probably going to rip her head off. Looks like I won't be getting a midnight snack after all. Oh well…_

Marcel moved cautiously towards Jason. "Jason…Jason, are you okay?" Jason dropped Freddy and started towards her. Marcel gave a yelp and moved out of the way, but he stopped, standing right in front of her. Marcel breathed a sigh of relief. "See? You can do it, Jason. Now is there anything you'd like to tell Freddy?"

Jason turned around and gave Freddy the finger.

"Well…that's not exactly what I meant…but it's a start."

* * *

Jason frowned. Why couldn't those stitches stay on Freddy's mouth forever? It wasn't like he had forgotten how to talk in the last two hours, so why couldn't he be quiet? He was busy trying to hit on that girl…Marcel.

"You know you wanna say, 'In your dreams', but you can't can you? I've got you beat, don't I? Come on, you know you want this. Who else are you going to fuck, Hockey Puck over there?"

Oh no he didn't. Jason picked up his machete and threw it at Freddy's head. It connected with a crunch, but he just didn't stay down. Now the charcoal burn was in his face and obscuring his episode of Jerry Springer, no less. He knocked him into the TV and watched as it sparked and burst angrily into flame. Jason watched with glee. The girl just sighed and produced a fire extinguisher, putting out the blaze. Jason gave a pout under his mask. Killjoy. Freddy had retreated to a corner, rocking back and forth. Jason made a mental note to set things on fire more often.

Marcel shook her head. Those two were never going to get along. The TV had repaired itself, and Jason had turned up the volume, drowning out Freddy's mumbling. The faint sound of knocking could be heard over the redneck drama. Marcel moved to answer the door.

* * *

Michael, on the other side, sighed. If Freddy and Jason were here, that meant trouble. And Ghostface clinging to him like a lost puppy wasn't making things better. At least it was a reprieve from the Curse of Thorn. Wherever his no good family members were, he doubted highly that they were here. Death had told him he was to be baby-sat. He shivered. He didn't like babysitters. Reminded him of Laurie too much. He really hoped whoever was babysitting him didn't look anything like Laurie.

"Heyyyyy…." Ghostface whined. "Where is everybody? Come onnnnn, I gotta go!"

Michael sighed again. Ghostface was really irritating him. If someone didn't open this door soon…

Marcel opened the door. Two other slashers stood there. One looked highly annoyed, the other just burst into conversation.

"Hiiii! I'm Ghostface and that's Michael. That Death guy sent us. You know, you're pretty. You wouldn't happen to have a bathroom would you?" Marcel pointed towards the back of the house.

"Sweet." Ghostface scampered off, and Michael simply moved over to the couch, snagging a high five from Jason. Freddy, noticing Ghostface, got up and mumbled something about Michael letting lameos into the house and needing a drink.

Marcel smiled and shut the door. This was going better than she thought it would.

* * *

**AN: Yes, Jason watches Jerry Springer and gets along with Michael. It just seems that way, doesn't it? Ghostface will get even more annoying later, I assure you. R&R!**


	3. Ch 3: Getting the Short End

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Ch. 3: Getting the Short End of the Machete

Marcel stopped short for a second. They had a bathroom? She hadn't even thought about it; just pointed like she would've back home. But if there was a bathroom…that meant there had to be bedrooms! Marcel moved past Michael and Jason, who were busy arm wrestling, and by Freddy, who was propped under a table and looking like he had more than one drink. She made her way past the kitchen and found the bathroom, where Ghostface seemed to be entertaining his reflection with a rendition of "It's Raining Men". Marcel decided to block that out. She didn't see that. In fact, if anyone asked, she wasn't even there.

The bedrooms she found were pretty nice. Marcel guessed they had to be if they were going to hold two killers to a room. The last room had to be hers, seeing as there was only one bed. At least she had her own bathroom. Three cheers for privacy! But who was going to room with whom? Keeping Freddy and Jason in a room together was out of the question. Yet Jason and Michael seemed to get along perfectly. Which left Freddy with Ghostface. Now that would be entertaining. She walked back towards the living room to give everyone the good…and not so good news.

* * *

"I have good news and bad news. Who wants to hear the good news first?"

"Oooh! I do, I do!" Ghostface yelled.

"Just get on with it!" Freddy screamed.

"Okay…the good news is I found the bedrooms. The bad news is you guys are going to be rooming with one another. Which goes a little something like this: Jason is rooming with Michael…" The happy news prompted a double high five from the masked killers.

"Gee…When's the wedding?" Freddy gave a snort. "I guess that just leaves you and me, baby."

"Uh…no. You'll actually be stuck with Ghostface. Sorry."

"What?! Nonononononono! I'd rather be lit on fire…again!"

Jason moved closer to Freddy. "Jason…" Marcel warned. "Be nice."

"Yay!" Ghostface squealed. "Isn't this great!? We'll have so much fun! We'll stay up all night, and talk, and watch movies, and have drinking contests, and make pillow forts, and we'll be best friends forever!"

"Oh no! Oh, hell no!"

Jason and Michael walked out of the living room on the way to their room. When they passed her, Marcel would have sworn she heard one of them humming "Here Comes The Bride."

* * *

A few hours later found Marcel idly taking a bath. She smiled to herself. "It's so good to relax without ten other girls clamoring for the bathroom. Isn't that right, Mr. Duck?' She spoke to a small rubber devil duck she'd found in the tub. She'd found the little thing adorable, especially when she squeezed it. Its eyes turned red and it roared instead of quacking. Deciding her bath was over, (after all, she was getting pruney) she stepped out, drying off and unplugging the drain. She pulled on a pair of pajamas she had found in the wardrobe and set the devil duck on the sink.

A loud slurp signaled the last of the water had left the drain. As she reached down to replace the plug, the faint sound of laughter reached her ears. She shrugged it off, then realized it was coming from the drain. She stared at it for a second. Nothing. And as she figured all was well, a gloved hand shot from the drain, and Marcel started screaming.

Meanwhile…

Freddy, Ghostface, and Michael were hiding under Marcel's bed.

"Explain why we're doing this again?" asked Ghostface. Freddy sighed. "Because you fool, she'll be naked, that's why. Besides, when's the last time you saw a girl naked, Ghostie? 1992?"

"Ohhh….okay! Bring on the nudity!"

Michael just rolled his eyes. He'd seen more than his fair share of naked girls. What was one compared to the rest? But before he could finish the thought, screaming came from the bathroom.

* * *

Marcel screamed louder. The hand was clamped around her wrist and trying to drag her towards the tub. She had been holding on to the edge of the sink, but she didn't know how long she was going to last. Freddy and Ghostface burst in, tripping over each other. Michael trailed behind, peeking his head in.

"Guys! Help me!" She continued to try and break out of the hand's grip. More laughter came from the drain. Freddy raised a nonexistent brow. "I know that obnoxious ass laugh." Freddy slashed at the hand and it recoiled instantly, screeching. He began to yell down the drain. "Hey Pennywise! Yeah, I'm talking to you, you asshat! You ever pop back up here again, I'm gonna make what those little kids did to you look as easy as blinking!"

The hand popped up again, flipping Freddy off.

"Oh yeah? Well fuck you too, funnyman! Mike, hand me your knife." Michael handed over his knife, which Freddy promptly dropped, sharp end first, down the drain. He smiled in satisfaction as a howl floated up. Michael hit Freddy in the back of the head.

"Ow!" He stood up, rubbing the back of his skull. "So am I your knight in shining armor, or what?" he asked Marcel, who was nursing a bruise on her wrist.

"I have to admit, that was quite brave. But I'm not sleeping with you."

"Damn. But can you blame a guy for trying?"

"Yes. Yes, I can."

Laughter sprung up from the drain along with a red balloon with the words, "Way to go Kruger!" on it. Freddy looked at the drain and scowled, using his knife hand to pop the balloon.

"Fucking clowns. Always think their so funny."

* * *

**AN: The plot bunnies messed with my skull, so sorry if this chapter isn't up to par. Just had to put in a Pennywise cameo. Try listening to "It's Raining Men" for this chapter. It guarantees a 1000% increase in fun! R&R! **


	4. Well, That Was Unexpected

**Disclaimer: Don't own nada, 'kay?**

* * *

Ch. 4: Well, That Was Unexpected

"I'm glad that's over." Marcel sighed. She rubbed the bruise on her wrist idly, mentally wishing for Pennywise to burst into spontaneous flame. Footsteps nearing the bathroom broke her out of her mental cursing.

"Great! Where the hell were you when we needed you?!" Freddy snarled at Jason. "The kid almost gets sucked down a drain, and you're doing what exactly?"

Marcel shook her head and moved past them into her room. As she neared her bed, she noticed a familiar form underneath. "Ghostface, how did you get under my bed?" Ghostface jolted upwards, hitting his head in the process. "Owwww….uh, I kinda slipped out during the fight and crawled under it?"

"Yeah, I got that much. But why are you underneath my bed?"

Ghostfaced cringed. "Uh…well, you see…what had happened was….uhggh…MEFREDDYANDMIKEWEREUNDERHEREBEFOREANDWEHEARDYOUAND….please don't kill me, it was all Freddy's idea, I swear!"

"What?!"

Marcel's second scream brought all three slashers from the bathroom. Freddy mumbled something about not fitting down the drain, but the minute he saw Ghostface begging for mercy, he paled. "What's going on here? Oh, Ghostface, I'm ashamed of you! Hiding under this poor girl's bed like a common pervert! Tsk, tsk, my little friend. Some people just have no class, I'm afraid." He turned towards Marcel, but the look on her face was enough to tell him everything. He was so dead.

"Nice try Krueger. But Ghostface tells me this was _your _idea. And that he, you, and Michael were there before, which is the only reason you guys showed up so fast after I screamed for help. So what do you have to say for yourselves?"

Freddy lunged at Ghostface, only to be stopped by Michael holding him back. "Let go of me you dumb mute!" Michael just shook his head and dragged Freddy out of the room.

"That was close…" A screeching sound stopped Ghostface from saying anything else.

"What was that? And why's it coming from the bathroom?" Marcel wondered. "Jason? You okay?"

Both Marcel and Ghostface peeked into the bathroom, finding Jason trying to fit his machete down the drain.

"Oh, crap. This is bad."

"What's bad about Jason trying to fit his machete down my tub drain....You know, besides the obvious?" Marcel asked.

"I'll explain in a second….hey, Mikey! We gotta Code Orange in the bathroom! Bring the tranqs!"

Michael walked in holding a long syringe filled with a neon pink liquid. Jason, who hadn't noticed Michael or the syringe, fell over with an agonizing thump as it was plunged into his neck. Michael just dragged him out of the bathroom by his feet, and left the room.

"Okay….that was weird." Marcel said. "So what exactly was wrong with this moment?"

"You might want to pull up a chair. This could take a while…"

A while later….

Marcel, Michael, and Ghostface were seated in Marcel's room, eagerly awaiting the answer to Jason's earlier meltdown. Ghostface cleared his throat and began.

"So, the first thing you need to know is that every year a certain convention is held for all villains, called the Symposium of Evil, and…"

Marcel interrupted. "The Symposium of Evil?"

"Yeah, I know it sounds totally 80's cartoonish, but I didn't make it up. Anyway, it's held every year for all villains. And in case you haven't noticed, that's a lot of evil running around. Sometimes things happen. So last year, we're at the convention, everything's cool, I got a big payday off of the death bets….uh, but that's for another time. So apparently, Jason ran into Pennywise and things got ugly fast. You know Pennywise likes scaring kids, right? Well, he was being a complete ass, trying to scare anything he can find. He tried scaring all those "vengeful spirit" kids, but their chaperone Kayako; that kid with the cat's mom, almost strangled him with her hair. He booked it once the other kids and the cat got involved."

Michael nodded and made strangling and clawing motions with his hands. If Marcel didn't know any better, she would have sworn he was laughing…at least on the inside.

"Thank you, Mikey. So yeah, he's running away from Kayako and the kids and he bumps into Jason. Now anyone who hadn't met Jason would have either apologized and left or introduced themselves. This idiot doesn't do either. Apparently, he has the nerve to turn into Jason's mom and start taunting him! Now everyone knows that is one of the evil world's greatest social faux pas. Ever since Freddy did it, no one even thinks about his mother for fear of getting disemboweled, or worse, spending the rest of their lives as a disembodied head. But essentially, Jason is for the most part, a child…at least mentally most of the time, which puts him under Pennywise's powers. I guess he did some growing up, because we all thought it didn't phase him in the least when he walked away. We were wrong about that too, cause he came back with Elliot's pins and Thomas' chainsaw, pinned the clown to the wall and proceeded to dismember the idiot with the borrowed chainsaw. We're all immortal in our own ways, but that was something else. I don't know if he really got put back together since only his arm came out of the drain, but I doubt he'll be back since he knows Jason's here now."

Michael nodded again making stabbing and revving motions this time, while Ghostface pretended to be in agony.

Marcel laughed and clapped her hands at the performance, then stopped. What was she doing? How could she laugh at such misery, even if it wasn't human? She shook her head. Everything that had happened today just got to her, that was all. She was angry at Pennywise, a little bit of revenge couldn't hurt, right?

"Okay you two, I'm calling it a night." Marcel said. "You two should go check on Jason and Freddy, make sure they haven't killed each other." She stood up and headed for her bed.

"It's okay. Jason should be out for another few hours, and I'm sure Freddy calmed down by now. But just in case, I'm staying away from him. See you tomorrow." said Ghostface.

"Night, you guys." And with that, Marcel fell asleep with ease, waiting for tomorrow.

* * *

**AN: Sorry this chapter took so long, I was on a forced hiatus with school and all that jazz. Here's a question I've been meaning to ask: Should there be a pairing between Marcel and someone else? Mature content? You guys know the way to let me know. If I get enough answers, I'll let everyone know who won on my profile. Happy summer! **


	5. Here Kitty, Kitty

**Disclaimer: ….yeah. You already know.**

Ch. 5: Here, Kitty, Kitty

Marcel may have fallen asleep with ease, but waking up was proving to be a challenge. First of all, her chest was feeling a little tight. Surely nothing was wrong, right? And secondly, what in the world was that smell?! It reminded her of a subway station; humid, rank, and crawling with filth. She sat up slightly and felt something slide down her front. The realization startled her awake and she looked down. What was lying on her was a cat. And it was dead. The fur was matted, and its head was turned completely around and barely attached to a broken neck. To add insult to injury, someone had tied a ribbon around its neck as if it were a gift.

She cringed as a maggot made its way through an empty eye socket. The other eye was a lifeless, milky grey-green. And it blinked. Marcel scrambled as far away as humanly possible and watched in horror. The head began to turn slowly, puffs of gritty air popping out from exposed vertebrae. Bones righted themselves; muscle fleshed out, the tail straightened out like a party favor and went limp. And as the cat stretched its newly formed muscles and yawned, Marcel caught a large whiff of that subway rank scent….and fainted.

Regaining consciousness found her on the living room couch surrounded by the slashers.

"Is she awake yet or what?" Freddy groused. "I'm missing my show, 'cause if I can't kill people, I at least want to watch other people kill people, and this little moment is taking away from that!"

"Freddy, stop complaining. This was partially your idea, so stuff it!" yelled Ghostface.

"Is it my fault the big idiot doesn't understand sarcasm? Nooooo. He just had to go and take me seriously. Since when does that happen?"

"Will you two stop it?!" Marcel cut in. "Besides, what does all of your yelling have to do with the fact that I woke up with a dead cat on me, and it then somehow came back to life?!"

"Well, the big idiot felt bad about trying to massacre your bathroom, so he decided to try and find a gift to make it up to you. I, in all my infinite wisdom, told him he was better off getting you a dead animal, since candy and flowers were soooo going to get you to forgive him. I was kidding, though. I didn't think he'd go and dig up a dead animal!" said Freddy.

"Great. Thanks a lot. But that doesn't explain how it came back to life."

"No idea how that happened. Sorry."

"Whatever. Where's Jason now?" asked Marcel.

"Out back, I think. Probably moping around or something."

Marcel got up and headed towards the backyard. The sound of splintering caught her ears, making her turn the corner. Jason was busy taking his frustrations out on the trees, breaking them in half with a punch. Michael and the now alive cat were busy holding up scorecards.

"Uh…Jason?" At the sound of her voice, Jason turned around suddenly, not noticing as the top half of a splintering tree came crashing down on his skull.

"Eeeep! You okay?" Marcel asked. She ran over, making sure he was alright…and more importantly that he wouldn't bolt. Both Michael and the cat had dropped their scorecards, and wandered over. The cat wound itself around her ankles, and she stooped down to pet it. Michael was holding Jason up, who was shaking his head and trying to release himself from the shorter man's grip.

"Thanks, Mikey." Marcel smiled at the masked man, who nodded and turned to Jason, obviously telling him to stay put before leaving them. Marcel picked up the cat, shifting slightly as it made itself comfortable in her arms.

"So…Ghostface explained about what happened yesterday." She watched as Jason picked up his machete, either preparing to ignore her and leave, or dispatch more foliage. Instead he turned around and made a few scratches in the dirt. Marcel looked down and squinted a little. He had written something. It may have been chicken scratch, but it was writing nonetheless. It read: _He did?_

"Well, yeah. I kind of needed an explanation after Michael knocked you out."

More scratches on the ground. _I hate clowns._

"Well who doesn't?"

_Clowns don't hate other clowns. Or do they?_

"Who knows? Look…about the cat…"

_Dead animal=bad gift. Sorry._

"Well, technically the cat's not dead anymore, and I always did want a cat so I guess this makes it a good gift. Thank you."

_Not mad?_

"No, I'm not mad. Next time, you can just apologize, but leave out the dead animals, please."

Jason moved forward quickly and picked up Marcel in what could literally be a bone-crushing hug.

"Uh…Jason. You might want to put me down now…really." Marcel stammered.

Jason stopped and gently put her down, stepping back to let her breathe. The cat leapt from her arms to avoid being crushed.

"So…ready to go back inside?"

Jason nodded, but not before picking her up again into another hug.

"D'awww…look at the lovebirds. So cute, I think I might vomit." Freddy cackled.

Before Marcel could respond, Jason picked up his machete and stalked towards Freddy, chasing him around.

"Arrrrgh….call him off, call him off!"

Marcel just shook her head and walked back inside. "Boys…"

**AN: Is there anything better than fluff, fun, and possible dismemberment? I think not.**


	6. Slasher Sleepover

**Disclaimer: Not mine…**

* * *

Ch. 6: Slasher Sleepover

Marcel was pissed beyond belief. Today didn't seem to be her day at all. The cat had managed to puke on her rug, leaving her to step in its mess when she woke. After cleaning up that lovely surprise, she then slipped on something in the kitchen, which turned out to be blood from Freddy and Jason's fight over the last pint of Deadman's Float. Marcel mentally cursed Ben & Jerry. Then came the smell of something burning, which as it turned out was _not _her breakfast spontaneously combusting in the pan, but Ghostface burning down the bedrooms, which weren't reforming. And to top it off, Death wasn't answering his cellphone.

* * *

Somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle…

Death was jolted out of his siesta by the beginning melody of "Don't Fear the Reaper." Said jolt caused him to spill his pina colada all over his robes. "Damn…" He hastily tried wiping himself off, but to no avail. That was definitely going to stain. The tune stopped as the phone was flipped open.

"It's for you, dear." He turned to look at the woman on his right, holding out the phone.

"Aw, thank you pumpkin…" Death took the phone. "Death here, how can I help you?"

"Death?" It was Marcel. "Death, I need your help. Ghostface burned down the….bzzzzttt…" He grimaced at the static. Damn Triangle reception.

"Wait…what did he burn down?"

"The bedrooms. He burned down the bedrooms and now they won't reform…"

"Oh, dear. I'm afraid I can't come and fix them right now; I'm out of the plane at the moment. I'll have to send you a temporary fix until I get back. Will that do?"

"Yeah, that's fine. If you excuse me, I have to go clean fire extinguishing foam off of a cat. I'll talk to you later."

Death stared at the phone for a minute. "When did they get a cat?"

* * *

Marcel stared at the closed phone and sighed. A temporary fix? That didn't sound good at all. She rubbed her temples. If the day kept going like this, she was going to need aspirin. Ghostface was waiting on the couch, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"How exactly did you burn down the bedrooms?"

Ghostface squirmed slightly. "Well, if we break it down, it technically involved me, the cat, a bag of Cheetos, some silly string, and a match….or twelve."

"What were you doing with silly string?"

"I thought it was hairspray…but what are we gonna do now?"

"Death said he'd have to send us a quick fix until he gets back from wherever he is…"

A loud pop signaled the said fix. Peeking in to where the bedrooms were supposed to be, Marcel and Ghosface were treated instead to a very large mattress in a now open space.

"What?! That's the fix?! A mattress?!"

"Well you did say that he said it was gonna be a quick fix, right? Well maybe it was the best he could do…from wherever he is…I guess…."

"Great, just great…now I really need aspirin." Marcel flung open a kitchen cabinet in search of the pills. Spying a bottle in the back, she popped it open to reveal…that there were no pills.

The scream could be heard for miles.

* * *

Back at the Triangle….

Death was once again jolted from his nap. "Whazzat? Who's screamin'?" The woman on his right patted his hand gently.

"I'm sure it was just an animal, dear. Did you send the girl that fix they needed?"

"Yeah. I'm sure they got it by now. I'm also pretty sure that scream wasn't an animal."

"True." The woman smoothed out her grey sundress and adjusted her hat. "You know, I think it's time I took a vacation from this vacation. I really should check on my son…"

* * *

**AN: OMG! Death's shackin' up with a slasher's mom?! Who is it? What really happened to those bedrooms? And most importantly, will Death ever finish his nap? Tune in next time to find out!**


End file.
